Reflections on the Incarnation after seven months in LA

At the end of my Servant Partners ‘quarter’ several of my fellow-interns and I reflected on our time by presenting a short skit based on the Advent wreath. As I have continued to reflect on the past seven months, the images of Advent seem an appropriate format in which to share a few stories of my own…

The Prophecy Candle

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
Because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” Luke 4:18-19

The Prophecy Candle reminds us that God’s eternal promises to bring freedom, justice, and holiness are still being fulfilled today…

I remember when I knew that I was going to join Servant Partners. I was standing in church in September 2008, singing praises, when suddenly the thought popped through my head “When I am in LA” – and I burst into tears. Because I knew that LA and Servant Partners were God’s calling for me.

And now, a year, and seven moves later, I finally can say I have a home in South LA, and am beginning to taste the promises of community and ministry. God still has many things to teach me on this journey, and many promises to fulfill – promises to free his people from oppression, rebuild broken walls, and bring the poor, the sick, the broken and hurting into his kingdom. They are now and not-yet promises; now because Jesus, the promise himself, is alive in us in South LA, and not-yet because Jesus’s ultimate kingdom is still coming.

The Bethlehem Candle

“So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went their to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there the time came for the baby to be born and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.” Luke 2:4-7

The Bethlehem Candle reminds us that God became incarnate in the least likely of places. Far from home, lonely, practically homeless, Bethlehem was certainly not where Mary and Joseph would have chosen to be that day...

When I figured out I couldn’t go home for Thanksgiving, I was pretty devastated. After six months away, I really wanted to be with be family for the holiday. But time and money constraints and simple common sense said that going home for Thanksgiving just wasn’t going to happen. So after some tears and prayers, I resigned myself to being in LA for the holiday, even as my roommates prepared to go home or visit friends.

As the time approached, it became clear to me that I really wanted to be IN my neighborhood for Thanksgiving day, and was glad when my neighbor down the street, a Servant Partners staff-worker, invited me to join her and a few other remenant interns for Thanksgiving dinner. But I continued to slightly dread spending the day in LA, rather than at home with my loved ones.

Thanksgiving morning dawned beautiful and clear, the best of Southern California fall weather, and I awoke filled with an unexplainable peace and joy. As I walked to the grocery store and did some last-minute baking, I found all the anxiety dispelled, and I very simply knew that I was supposed to be there that day. My heart kept singing to God “It is impossible for me to be anywhere but where you have me”.

Around noon, as I took out the trash, I stopped to greet my neighbors, two grandmothers, a young man, Jose, his wife, Christina, and their one-year-old son Alex. After a few pleasantries in mixed English and Spanish, I asked where they were going for Thanksgiving. “We are going to East LA to join our family, but our car won’t start”. Wishing I knew a thing about cars, I offered a jump, which Jose and I tried, but the car still wouldn’t start. After some more fiddling, Jose and I went to the nearest gas station to pick up a few gallons of gas, but the car still wouldn’t start. Finally, they ended up calling their relatives to come and get them, and I went back into the house, offering to help if there was anything else I could do. Once in the house, I sat down and prayed about the whole situation, asking God to open more doors through this interaction.

Five minutes later, Christina knocked on the door, asking me to run her to Food-For-Less to pick up the chips and dip she had promised to bring for Thanksgiving dinner. So we ended up going to the grocery store together, and having quite a nice conversation about our families and histories as we waited in the epic line of last minute Thanksgiving shoppers.

I thought the story was over at that point, but a week later, God added the punchline, when Christina came over to invite us to her niece’s birthday party, complete with jumper and piñata. So for the first time we found ourselves in an ‘insider’ position within the apartment complex, joining our neighbors in celebration, and tasting a bit of the community God had brought us to South LA to find.

The Angels Candle:

“But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.” Luke 2:10-11

The Angel Candle reminds us that there is good news, and that the good news came in the form of a baby…

“To the CDK staff…a.k.a. Angels on Earth – From the Hopper family”. I had to laugh when I saw the label on a large box of goodies in the kitchen at work. Especially when I thought of Dana, my co-worker, wrestling with severely autistic Andy Hopper several times a week, and looking like anything but an angel.

Really, I thought, we aren’t the angels at all…it’s our kids. They are anything but perfect, but as far as being messengers from God, they are the ones who bring good news.

Two year old Marco and his twin brother Jose, running on their tip-toes across the waiting room, flapping their arms and shrieking joyful greetings when I walk through the door - they are my angels.
Six year old Caleb, standing at a table, dropping balls in a track and yelling “I win, I win”, as I use all my might and main to support his knees and hips in extension so that we both don’t collapse to the floor - he is my angel.

Three year old Margarita, laughing for the first time since she started therapy, as I push her swing through the air, clap my hands and generally make a fool of myself – she is my angel.

Eleven year old Johnny, huffing and puffing on the treadmill, but telling me he can go ‘one more minute’ because he wants to pass his PE test this time - he is my angel.

Two year old Leslie, staggering on chubby legs eight feet across the room to stumble into her mother’s arms – walking independently for the first time – she is my angel.

My kids are angels, messengers from God, who bring good news. They bring me the good news that you don’t need to have an IQ over 120 to find joy in life. That you don’t need to be able to talk to share love. The good news that in the incarnation God himself accepted the limitations of a physical body, in which muscles, neurons and mucus membranes all have a part to play. The good news that a baby born two thousand years ago still cares about every baby born today, every child that I treat, and every holy broken person I encounter, whether in the Philippines, Pasadena or South LA.

The Shepherds Candle:

“When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one aonther, ‘Let us go into Bethlehem and see things thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.’ So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who woas lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child. And all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.”

The Shepherds candle reminds us that God made his good news known to, and through, the least likely of people….

Going to Food-for-Less in our neighborhood is always an adventure. In addition to the usual challenges of trying to feed four people regular meals that are cheap, quick and moderately tasty, there is the fact that grocers in urban poor areas seem to scorn anything that resembles healthy food. But the other part of the adventure is the people we encounter, especially in the parking lot…soliciting from shoppers is so common that my roommates and I regularly add a loaf a bread and jar of peanut butter to our shopping list, just in case we need something to give away.

Last weekend, however, Erika and I were in a hurry as we shopped, and forgot the extras. So when a slightly shabby looking man approached us as we loaded our groceries, I muttered under my breath “Oh, no, we forgot the peanut butter!”

We turned to greet the man anyway, and to my relief I saw he wasn’t just begging, but selling something. “Would you like to buy a Christmas card? Only one dollar each!” I reached to look at the cards, asking “who made these?” The question surprised him, so he replied “Let’s just say Santa Claus made them”.

I had to laugh at that, but as the cards were all in Spanish, I was considering how to politely say no, when Erika spoke up: “I’ll take two.” Two dollars and two cards were exchanged, and we went back to loading our groceries.

As we got into the car, I asked her what she was going to do with two singing Spanish Christmas cards. “Well, I was going to give them to our neighbors, but I should have gotten four”.

“That’s a great idea! Is he still here?” I asked. Looking around, we saw that our friend was making his way down the next row of cars. Quickly we drove his direction, rolled down the window and waved him over. “Can we have two more cards? But all we have is a five.”

“I’ll tell you what,” he said “I’ll give you the rest for five.” With a quick glance at Erika and a laugh, I made the exchange – five hard-earned dollars for seven unneeded singing Christmas cards. Laughing cheerfully the man waved us away, “Thank you so much, queen, thanks and have a Merry Christmas.” And in the car, we laughed too, for sometimes the good news shared through unexpected messengers; some of whom watch sheep at night, and others of whom sell cards in grocery store parking lots.

The Jesus Candle

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14

As you celebrate the incarnation this Christmas, please remember and glorify God with me for the ways he has shown himself Emmanuel in South LA.

Merry Christmas and Love

Bethany Joy DeGray

A devotional on John 15

I gave this devotional at the beginning of the month, for one of our Servant Partners assignments. The intended audience is my Servant Partners team, but I thought it would be good to share a little of what has been going on for me spiritually since the internship started...I just wish I could say I am truly living this way.

While we were in Manila, I felt a lot of confirmation in God’s calling on my life, a calling which will likely include living some place like Botocan. Edith and I kept saying to each other “I wish we could just stay”.

But of course, there were also a lot of fears of how we would really survive in the long run. I kept finding myself enumerating the practical changes I would need to stay longer: things like nailing boards over the rat-holes, having a bigger bucket in the bathroom and finding a husband who could kill cockroaches for me.

It wasn’t until debrief that I began to focus on the real question: what spiritually would need to change in my life for me to be sustainable in the long run.

And I think this question of sustainability applies not just to living in Manila or Cairo or Mumbai, but to living here in Los Angeles.

This month has been tough: trying to balance a 40 plus hour work week, time in community, studying Luke, team dynamics and homesickness. I have been much more in survival mode here than I ever was in the Philippines.

So the question of sustainability has become very urgent to me: I don’t just want to know how to survive and thrive in some future missions field. I desperately need to know how to do it now.

As I’ve wrestled with this question, I keep coming back to John 15. This is the chapter where Jesus compares himself to a vine, and us to branches. This time of year, I like to read it as a pumpkin vine, and we are the little branches trying to produce pumpkins. Jesus’ points out the obvious: the branches aren’t going to make any pumpkins unless they are connected to the vine. How could they, without any source for water, minerals, and energy. How on earth would a little branch produce a huge golden-orange pumpkin unless the vine was providing it everything it needs? If a branch was silly enough to try to produce a pumpkin without being connected to the vine, what would happen? Nothing. It would just lay there, rotten, brown and dead, maybe with a shriveled up flower molding at the end. It wouldn’t even be worth composting – just toss it in the fire.

So Jesus says “I am the vine; you are the branches. If anyone abides in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing”.

Of course I want to be a branch that bears abundant fruit. But so often I feel like the branch that is not connected to the vine, striving and striving to produce a molded flower.

In this passage there is one word that really jumps out to me as the key to sustainability. This key word is “abide”. Jesus repeats the word abide ten times in thirteen verses: “Abide in me, and I will abide in you…abide in me and my words abide in you…abide in my love…abide, abide, abide.”

To abide means to remain, to dwell, to belong, to live in and as a part of something. The branch abides in the vine by receiving all its sustenance from the vine and by producing fruit that glorifies the vine. The branch is completely dependent on the vine. In fact I suspect that most branches on a pumpkin plant don’t see themselves as separate entities at all – they are just part of the vine which is part of themselves.

Abiding in Jesus isn’t just about getting my needs provided for. Being sustained by him isn’t like getting a glass of water and a piece of bread from the kitchen. It is more like being an unborn baby – being bound by a pulsing umbilical cord to the one who not only supplies all me needs, but who surrounds me and comprises my whole universe.

This is certainly how I need to be sustained right now. There are too many challenges in my life to survive on stolen gaps of time ‘with God’, hastily crammed down my throat with my toast in the morning. I need an umbilical cord from God’s heart to mine, sustaining me throughout the day.

But I find myself still questioning: How? How do I abide in Jesus and allow him to sustain me this way? How do I re-identify myself as part of him, dwelling in him, completely dependent upon him?

Once again, I find myself trying to enumerating practical ways to make me abide better: things like getting up earlier so I can do more Bible study, seeking more accountability, memorizing scripture, or even cutting down my hours at work.

Yet none of these things, valuable as they may be, are how Jesus tells us to abide.

Jesus establishes our basis for abiding in his love for us. “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you, now abide in my love” We can be confident in being sustained because the love Jesus has for us is the same infinitely powerful love that sustains the Trinity itself. And, as Jesus states a verse later, the Love we abide in is that love by which he that laid down his life for us.

From this foundation, Jesus immediately moves into exhortation, answering the question of ‘how’ to abide. He states it pretty simply: “If you obey my commands you will abide in my love.”

Edith already talked a lot about the relationship between obedience and our love for God. But here Jesus focuses on the relationship between obedience and our love for others. He doesn’t let us sit around wondering what commands we are to obey. He spells it out “my command is this: love one another as I have loved you”. So the way we abide is by obedience, and obedience ultimately means loving one another.

This a radical shift from my usual way of approaching sustainability. I tend to think of obedience, especially in the area of loving others, as the thing I need to be sustained for...not the thing by which I am sustained.

Certainly in the past few months as I have gotten to know you, I have prayed often to love you all. And have at times found that love growing like a healthy pumpkin, and at other times, found only moldy flowers.

But I am not sure I ever really realized how much a difference loving you all would make in my own sustainability. I didn’t realize that in cooking meals or cleaning the bathroom, in listening to your stories and sharing your laughter, or in praying for you as I drive back and forth to Pasadena, I could find the key to my own abiding.

Loving you all is truly impossible, but so is growing pumpkins. The little branch of the pumpkin vine isn’t seeking to do the impossible, it is simply participating in what the vine is all about. And in loving you I am participating in, abiding in, what Jesus is all about. In some ways, it is a circular argument – loving you all both draws me to and comes through abiding in Christ.

To be perfectly honest, I am still in the first steps of learning what this means. I am still in the flower stage of this pumpkin growing process. Jesus clearly states that loving you will involve laying down my life, and that is a challenging thought. But I am also very excited, because this sustainability is not something I have to change on my own, but something that together we will receive as we obey Christ’s command and love one another. Let us not fail to produce fruit, let us not fail to thrive here in Los Angeles, let us not be dead branches thrown into the fire, because we failed to love one another. Let us together cling to our sustainer and urgently ask him for the love we need. Let us love one another as he has loved us.

A 'poem' reflection on Revelation 3:14-22

While we were in Manila, one of the pastors at the little local church we attended preached on Revelation 3. It seemed so pertinent to me at the time, that I spent a lot of time meditating on the passage. This is one of my meditations, in my haphazard 'poetry' style-

You are neither hot nor cold
you are lukewarm sludge
fermenting in the bottle

You do not provide refreshment
a cool, sweet fountain of joy
Nor healing
hot and strong with truth

You are disgusting
undrinkable

You turn my stomach upside down
until I, God, am ready to vomit

But you are not even aware of your disgusting state
This lukewarm status,
a product of entropy
the slow dilution of time

My ears are astonished at the words you say:
"I am rich; I have acquired wealth and DO NOT NEED A THING"

My jaw drops and my stomach roils.
So blatant the lie
you blithely cling to.
Sheltered in the walls of your malls, your Starbucks
your AC and TV.
This last self deception of a dying soul:
"I DO NOT NEED A THING"

Would you cling to your independence to the last gasp,
wrapped in the tea-cozy of wealth,
while hot and cold drain away,
through the holes in your soul?

Can't you see, can't you realize that you are:

wretched
pitiful
poor
blind
naked

Listen, listen to me -

Stop trying to wrap yourself in clothes that you weave
it is dream-cloth,
invisible,
Your shame is apparent before all the world,
and every wind pulls at the warmth of your blood.

Stop trying to salve your wounds with lotion you make
it is poison
numbing the sore place
to fill it with deadness and pus.

Look, look at me-

My hands are full to overflowing-

Go-

Sell all that you have and give it to the poor
and buy from me treasure that will last

Gold refined in fire - your impurities burned away by suffering
White clothes to wear and erase your shame
Salve for your eyes, so you can see me.

Don't you know, don't you know I love you?
That is why I rebuke and discipline you.
How I long for your earnest repentance!

I am standing here, banging on the door of your heart -
Look, listen, hear!
Come!

Let me in so that we may be community again-
me in you and you in me.

Than I will no longer call you servants but friends.
and you will sit with me and reign
Just as I sit with my Father and reign
Because we overcame.

Reflections on Manila from my roommate

Dear friends

As I continue in the internship, I find myself often mentally returning to my time in Manila. However, I haven't yet written anything that really summarizes what that time meant for me, or what we experienced as a team.

To give a glimpse of that, I am posting a letter my roommate (both here and in Manila) wrote shortly after returning. My roommate's name is Edith, and here is her story:


A Journey of the Heart in Metro Manila

Eight-year old Jenny Paz sat on my lap and cried as I held her for one last time. She wouldn’t play one last competitive hand clapping game called “Bang”. She luckily didn’t have to go to school for the unfortunate reason that her parents couldn’t pay for that day. She had the whole day to say good-bye to us and she did smile for me. She knew that I loved her smile and laughs.
It was our last day in Manila, Philippines and probably the longest Thursday of our lives. Our 18-hour flight back to Los Angeles made our day seem 41 hours long. How do you say good-bye to a people you began to have a heart for and who left you changed forever?
That morning, after clearing the 8 by 8 by 12 foot apartment, made out of plyboards and broken pieces of wood, I sat at a corner looking out the view of Botocan squatter community from the window. As I stared across, I knew that I wouldn’t miss the cockroaches that crawled all night on our walls, the rats that passed along my sleeping bag from one wall to the next, fighting through the dark (because their lights were dimly lit) to get to the bathroom, or taking cold bucket showers. Sure wasn’t going to miss sleeping on the hard floor. But these people…this is their life. Apart from struggling financially, they live in fear that their homes will one day be demolished because their homes are built as illegal settlements. Sad but true, more than 1 billion people in the world live like this. I looked at my stuffed duffle bag and small bag, everything I took for a 3 week stay, and was reminded of the materialistic world. It was my last day and feeling small, I asked loudly, “God, give me strength coming from Your joy. Help me to spread it to those whom I will never see again.”
He answered. It was probably one of the most joyous days of all the days I had in Manila. I was happy to spend more time with the community; the ladies I’ve gotten to know in the alleys when they hand washed their clothes, the children that always ran to me when I walked down the road, and with my homestay family. I’ll never forget Ate Iris, a 28 year old mother, who stayed home taking care of her children Jimuel (8 years, Jopai (5 years), and Jeeanne (2 years), while her husband, Jim, worked as a painter and stayed home on rainy days. Oh it rained every day!
Daniel, who was a 3-month international intern for Servant Partners, was with us that day. We spent our last moments together playing Uno, Memory, and joking with each other. “So, what are you going to do with your destiny?” asked Ate Iris again with a jovial smile. I rolled my eyes and before I knew it, Daniel immediately grabbed a pillow and pushed her with it saying, “You read too many romantic novels!” We laughed and joked some more, until she shed tears again at my leaving.
Convinced, Ate Iris has a hunch for “destinies.” Two times she found Daniel wear the same brown shirt on the days I’ve wore a brown shirt, unintentionally. For her, Daniel is my destiny. For me, Daniel of the Bible is my hero. One night a cockroach walked on my arm and I became greatly frightened and as I prayed a story came back alive to my mind; of Daniel getting out of the lion’s den with no scratch on him and God was encouraging me that I won’t be touched again. But here, I saw something else being at work. As much as I wished I could have stayed longer and remain in the laid-back life of Botocan, I left with a renewed hope. Yes, I was coming into Servant Partners with a wounded heart. Yes, my heart was broken once and twice. But here, God was healing my heart. Renewing that joy again, with that smile I could look across the wide blue clear sky and know He took me where my heart needed to be.
I walked down the ally and heard Jenny Paz calling me, “Edith!” I turned around with a huge smile for her. She cried back, “I will never forget you!” I waved goodbye with a kiss. My heart sunk. I hope to see her in heaven. I pray she will grow to know Jesus Christ and taste God’s amazing Love for her that took me to meet millions of faces of the Earth…to her and to her people.

Second Letter from the Phillipines -

Dear family and friends

This is going to have to be brief, because I've spent most of my internet time reading ike updates. Thank you for the personal notes, especially from those of you who are also experiencing limited internet connections. I wish I could have been in Houston this week to help out with Ike recovery, and just to be with you all in these experiences. But it some ways, we have shared some experiences - all of us have been learning about living simply and how to trust God in unknown situations. But I hope you have not encountered any rats! Actually, I am getting used to the rats. Now I just wake up and clap my hands and sing a little if I hear them in the night. Somewhat annoying to my roommate, however! One suggestion I have for dealing with un-AC is baby powder. You can even buy baby-powder with special cooling ingredients.

Things have been going well here both in terms of team-bonding and community outreach. We had a rough day last Tuesday, with heat and emotionally intense experiences and general exhaustion, but we seem to be on a positive note as we move into our last few days. I've been thinking a lot about what working/living in a place like this for the long-run would look like. One conclusion I have come to is that a husband would be really nice! But that aside, I have a lot of new thoughts of what I need to pursue professionally and spiritually to be prepared for long-term in a poor urban community. I've been keeping a list of people I've seen in our community with overt physical disabilities or limitations, and it is getting long: untreated cleft palates, a child with a congenital lack of nose and eye anomolies, an amputee, a girl with severe scholiosis, a child with a significant burn from the cook-stove, a little boy with CP, and innumerable skin lesions and diseases. It makes me want to bring a team with some surgeons. One little thing you can pray for me is to have wisdom in is treating a nasty infected cut on one of the kids fingers. I have been trying various ointments and bandages on it for about a week now, and it is finally starting to look healthier, but much slower that I would have liked. Pray for me to know wether to keep messing with it or to leave it alone at this point.

Please also pray for peace in my heart as we prepare to go home. I think it would be easier if I was really going home, but LA is more of another mission field, in some ways harder than this one. And I would rather stay here. I just keep reminding myself that I have kids waiting for me. But it will be hard to leave the kids waiting for me on the street every morning and night. I wish I could send you all big hugs and a few kisses too. ...

I will be flying out Thurs at 8 this time, and getting around Thurs PM in california (many hours later) Still no internet at home, however, so I will send out a new update sometime on the weekend or Monday when I am a work. It is pouring rain outside and I've got like a mile to walk to get back home in Botacan. Fun.

Love and hugs Bethany Joy

Pictures: Top - my roommate (in the Philippines) and housemate (in LA) Edith and I on our roof

Bottom: Some of the street kids, including Jobar, who has a congenital nasal abnormality.

Letter from the Philippines - Sept 15th 2008

Dear family and friends







I hope this finds you all doing well and staying dry from various weather. Please forward this to anyone who would be interested. First of all, I love and miss you. Especially Ellie, because my 'host' family has a baby about her age. I keep wondering if she is doing the same things as Ellie. Someday I want to do missions with my family again. Especially with Dad to tell me to take the adventure that comes.



















Things have not been too adventureous here, except an excessive number of rats at night. Last night one woke me up as it was trying to carry a plastic trash-bag through our bedroom. I yelled at it in Tagolag before turning on the light, so all I saw was a strange trash bag in the corner of the room, but I know the culprit. Please pray for my roommate and I to sleep peacefully.

Been meditating a lot on what it means to have my heart break for the people around me and to love until it hurts on such a short trip. I am bonding, but it is scary, because we are leaving so soon. I wish I could stay for six months - tired of the short-termness of my life. Someday... Also been meditating on John 15 with relation to our team and bonding. We are doing well, but still really in the beginning stages of becoming sustainable community. Some beautiful steps in the process though. Pray for my teammates, who seem to be struggling more ( and me as well) with the day-in-outness of living in a squatter community. And pray for us to really be able to impact this community for Christ, even in this short time. Pray for ability to transcend language and cultural barriers and show God's love. I am praying for all of you, especially those effected by the storm (Ike)...























Love and hugs.







Bethany Joy












Pictures: Top - Playing slap jack with Jacob, one of the local kids
Bottom- The view from the roof of my 'apartment'.

Return of the Bethany

Dear friends and family and sundry other readers.

It's been a month since I last updated, and nearly two months since I shared anything of worth. Under normal blogging circumstances, I would just let that time slide and resume where I am now.

However, where I am now has been so shaped by this missing time, that I feel the need for some slight re-cap.

So over the next few days I will be posting (in no particullar order) some of the emails, journal entries and devotionals I have written lately. Hopefully they can speak for themselves, but I may add an editorial comment or picture here and there.

Bethany Joy

I'm back, but...

Dear friends and family.

For days I've been trying to write an update telling you all that I am safely back from the Philippines. Which I am.

However, life has picked up again at an incredible pace, so rather than the lengthy tale and stories and phone calls I would like to share, I have only stolen minutes before work to let you know I am alive.

I promise more news in the near future.

Bethany Joy

Leaving for the Philippines

Dear much neglected supporters and friends

Greetings from a three day old intern.

At least that's how I feel. Because three days in to this internship, I am already aware of how much a new life this is. Actually, not so much a new life, but a deeper commitment to the way of life I've been trying to follow since I was five. A deeper commitment to following Jesus.

Over the last three days, we have spent a LOT of time in Nehemiah, learning about rebuilding cities, both literally and figuratively. It has been a really amazing time to look at one of my favorite books of the Bible in a new way with a new community. We also had a really good devotional last night about the wise and foolish builder, and that the only difference between them was obedience to Jesus' words. A really good reminder of HOW to build a life that will last.

And now I am running around like a crazy person, getting ready to leave for Manila tomorrow. The things to do list looms large, but I've already had one major God sighting for the day, so I am confident the rest of my agenda is in His hands.

Prayer requests as I leave for Manila:

1. That God would be glorified in this trip
2. That our team would really bond and learn to love one another over the next month.
3. That we would be supportive of the ministry where we are staying - the team leaders have only been in the area for a month, due to the demolition of their old slum by the government.
4. That I would be very soft-hearted toward what God wants me to see, learn and do while we are in Manila
5. That I could get some rest - I've slept very little in the last few weeks.
6. That there would be no issues with our new apartment (which is still strewn with boxes) while we are gone.
7. That there would be no issues with coverage of my kids at work while I am gone.
8. That we would have fun!

I may update 1-2 times while in Manila, but no promises. So please keep me in your prayers even if you don't hear from me.

Love

Bethany Joy

Housing decisions

So for the last two or three weeks the major stressor of my life has been finding housing down in South LA. God has been leading my roommates and I, but by wiggly paths. Tomorrow we will probably have to make a final decision on one house option, which we have gone back and forth on several times. I am hoping we can come to a consensus and say yes to this house, because it would be nice to have it settled. But more than that I want the four of us (Erika, Krista, Edith and I) to really come together in unity and love for one another.

So please be praying for us all in these next few days.

Bethany Joy

Painting Pictures of Egypt

I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way

The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much

The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

CHORUS:
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I"ve learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard

I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know

BRIDGE:
If it comes too quick I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

- Sara Groves

My first earthquake

So, we had an earthquake today. I'm sure you all have seen the news: 5.4 on the scale, east of LA, no real damage but a lot of startled people etc. Lots of people posting 'I felt it in...' stories and what fell off the walls or shelves. So I thought I would share my earthquake story:

I was treating a little boy (let's call him Sam) and we were crawling along the floor in the hall when the building suddenly rattled and jolted. I just had time think "What was that? A train?" in the moment of calm before it began to really shake and rattle and I thought "No, this is an earthquake". I lunged for Sam and caught him up, shaking a little myself. Seconds later the building stopped rocking, but I had no idea what to do next, or where to go. One of the other therapists said we should get under the kitchen table. I realized my sudden lung had startled Sam, who cries rather easily, so I started singing "The ants go marching one by one, harrah, harrah" as we crawled under the table.

For the next several minutes we reassured one another and tried to entertain our kids under the table. Sam didn't understand why we were sitting there, and started fussing, so I crawled back out for a moment and grabbed him a ball. I think we had two little twinklings of aftershocks, but nor more sudden rattlings and rollings.

My next goal was to get Sam back to his mom, who was (I thought) holed up in the waiting room. But when I went there, I saw no one, and began to worry. I figured she had gone to the local grocery store, but I didn't have her cell phone number, and it was about ten minutes before I saw her rushing across the courtyard. Poor mom, she was practically crying with upset - it was her first earthquake too, and I am sure she was imagining our building in a thousand pieces, with her baby at the bottom. I really should have stopped and prayed with her, but I just returned Sam and cautioned her to drive carefully.

So that is my 'earthquake story'. Hopefully I don't have another one for a while. One of my bosses said she had been praying this morning that if there was going to be an earthquake soon, it would be before Thursday, because her mom, who is 'deathly afraid' of earthquakes, is moving out to live with her on Thursday. I guess God answers prayer!

I'm so glad no one seems to have been hurt and only a little damage was done (we just had a few books fall of shelves and a crack appeared in the paint on one wall). I'm also glad it happened around lunch, when there were only a few kids in the clinic. Ten minutes earlier and we would have had ten autistic preschoolers and their parents diving for cover. I think as a clinic we were jarred into the realization of our lack of a concrete earthquake plan. Though we all knew the policy, we all reacted differently. One of the therapists dove under the table so fast she probably got a bruise, while others of us (like me) stood looking around wildly, suddenly very aware of all the glass in our clinic. Even some of our doors are glass! If there is a next time, I am grabbing my kid and heading for the emergency exit door - it is in a windowless wall. And I pray my kid is portable!

A big thankyou!

Dear generous friends

I just got my fundraising update from Servant Partners and was surprised to see how much had been given recently. Several of you didn't even tell me you were giving! My current grand total is $2840, leaving me only $1160 to go! Praise God! Thanks so much for those who have pitched in to help make this adventure happen.

Thanks also for the prayers for my traveling last weekend. God was really with me in making all of the bus-train-plane-car etc. connections happen. And it was a wonderful weekend of holding my beautiful little niece! Plus a few hugs for various other siblings, and one or two free back massages for people named Abbie(y).

As her mother keeps saying Ellie really is a perfect little person.

The proud aunt-

Bethany Joy

Going to see my niece and some prayer needs

Dear friends and family

Please be praying for me today as I travel to Texas to see my niece. I will be riding metro to the airport this afternoon after work, so please pray for me to make all the right connections and get to my plane in good time.

Thanks for the continued finacial support. Although I did not make the July 15th deadline of $3000, I am encouraged by the new supporters who have come alongside me in this project. Please continue to pray for me to trust God in all of this.

Also, please be praying tonight for my future roommate, Erika, as she checks out an apartment for us. It sounds like a real possibility, so pray she will have wisdom in evaluating the apartment, the setting and the landlord.

Thanks so much

Bethany Joy

I'm an Aunt!

Join me in celebrating my beautiful niece!

July 2008 Prayer Letter

July 5, 2008

Dear Praying Friends,

Rather than try to summarize this past month, I thought just share the events of today. It was not what I would call a ‘typical’ day for me, but it did exemplify for me some of the reasons I am here in California, and also some of the prayer needs I am facing at the moment:

6am I wake up and call home to get a status update on my sister Abigail and her daily anticipated delivery. Sadly, she is still playing the waiting game with just enough pre-labor last night to get her hopes up and down again.

6:30am I spend a few minutes mediating on Joni Erickson Tada’s lovely book Heaven. Then a rush to dress, eat and cut out 16 flannel ‘flags’ for Kingdom Kid’s, our neighborhood outreach program.

8am I head out the door for Kingdom Kids, praying that it will go well today. Last week was like a battle, with out of control children and quite a bit of disorganization on our part. But considering how I heard fireworks and last night, my main concern this morning is that anyone will be awake to bring their kids.

9am God is gracious, and the kids arrive. I pop back home to pick up one of the girls from my apartment complex, and get back in time to help supervise game time. Everything goes exceptionally smoothly today, especially craft and story time. We actually get all eleven kids to sit and listen to the story of Jesus’ death and resurrection for most of twenty minutes. When asked what they learned today, one of the little boys quickly volunteers: “to keep my hands to myself” – well, you take what you can get!

12:00pm I dash back home to return my little friend and grab some lunch. As we walk into the apartment complex I see a group of the residents standing around, apparently chatting amiably. I do a double take when I notice one of the men is casually holding a gun. Thinking “Is that a real gun? I hope it is not loaded!” I scoot by with my friend. After dropping her off, I go in my apartment, dismissing the gun from my mind, and give Abbie a call: still no real labor.

12:30pm I walk out the door, only to see about eight policemen standing in the courtyard. No one looks particularly perturbed or mad, so I ask one of the policemen if it is okay to leave, and do so. (Still can’t figure out what happened, but there did appear to be any blood.) Saying a quick prayer for the safety of my neighbors, I nerve myself for something more immediately scary to me than a loaded gun: driving across LA.

1pm I arrive safely in South LA and meet up with one of my future roommates, Erika, to do some apartment hunting. We drive the streets of the area we are aiming to minister in, discussing housing options and feeling quite encouraged by all the ‘for rent’ signs we spotted. Some of the houses are quite charming, reminding me of the house I lived in Galveston. We both like the eclectic nature of the neighborhood.

2:30pm Erika and I sit chatting in the Macdonald’s parking lot about fundraising and our fears/hopes about meeting the next deadline (only ten days away - yikes). Erika encourages me to try calling potential supporters, which I have been reluctant to do. (So beware, I may be calling you sometime soon!)

3pm A ‘homeless’ man approaches our car asking for money for food. We invite him to join us for lunch, and the three of us have a pleasant conversation over hamburgers. He says his name is Anthony, but he is called “Lefty”. We can easily guess why, as his right arm ends above the elbow. Turns out he has family in Houston, which I find is true of about 2/3 of the people I meet out here. Anthony is afraid to hang out long, as apparently community vigilantes work hard to keep people like him from asking for handouts. After he leaves, Erika and I pray for our continued house-hunting process, for our future ministry and for our other future roommates, Edith and Krista.

4pm I arrive back in Pasadena, quite pleased with how easy the drive was. I decide to reward myself for my busy day with a visit to a wonderful Christian used bookstore in Pasadena. An hour an a half later I walk out with only three books (please applaud my self-control). One great find was a copy of Penelope Wilcock’s The Hawk and the Dove, one of my all time favorite books.

6:30pm I arrive home after a stop at the grocery story, and sit down to eat junk food and write this letter. And here I still sit, listening to some vigorous Mexican music, courtesy of my neighbors, and debating mopping the floor tonight.

So as you can see, it was quite a full day, but it was also quite a God-full day. In midst of the action – Kingdom Kids, potentially scary encounters in the courtyard, driving all over LA, meeting a Erika, joining Anthony for lunch, and purusing the bookstore - I felt a real sense of God’s presence. It is like in each of these things he was saying to me: “See, this is why you are here – to care for these kids, to understand these crises, to drive these roads, to live in these neighborhoods, to meet these people, even to read these books.” So please continue pray for my safety, for ministry, for work, for house-hunting, for fundraising. But most of all, please pray for God to continue to demonstrate his presence to me, and for me to be able to walk with him wherever he leads.

Love to all of you,

Bethany Joy DeGray

June 2008 Prayer Letter

June 7, 2008
Dear Friends and Family-

Greetings from Pasadena! Thank you all for your many prayers and notes of encouragement over the last few weeks. I am amazed to find I have been in California for almost four weeks, as it seems like just a few (long) days. I have really been able to see God’s hand at work in my life through this transitional time.


Work has been the biggest challenge and biggest joy of the last few weeks. I have around twenty kids on my regular case load, plus a few ‘borrowed’ kids. Some of my kids are pretty challenging clinically, while for others the biggest challenge is building rapport with their families. I feel like a total greenhorn, but every day is one more day of experiences as a ‘real’ physical therapist, and I love my kids. You can be praying for me that I would be able to care well for these children and their families even in my inexperience. Please also pray for me to have wisdom in my time management and be able to build community with my co-workers.

I have also enjoyed the opportunity to begin to integrate into community with Servant Partners and other ministries. Though my internship doesn’t start till the fall, I am helping out some of the current interns with a service project this summer. We are working with a local church to create a Saturday morning Bible club in the neighborhood called ‘Kingdom Kids’. Please be praying for all the details of this to work out in God’s timing, as our start date, June 21st, is rapidly approaching!


One final excitement in my life is that I finally bought myself a new car this week. God really blessed me in allowing me to get a great price on a car with low mileage that met all my specs. Of course, my big prayer now is that both the car and the driver would be safe and reliable for the next several years. So far driving in Pasadena hasn’t been too bad, but it is more challenging than Friendswood. The biggest challenge is a ridiculous lack of left turn signals in this city!

One last area of continued prayer need for me is in my support needs. My first fundraising deadline is only a week away, June 15th, and I still have a ways to go before reaching my first goal amount of $1500. I am sure God is going to provide this money in his own time, but I wanted to include instructions on ways to support me for those of you who are planning on donating soon. There are three ways you can give your gifts, and all gifts are tax-deductible:
Writing a check: Please have checks made out to “Servant Partners” and put “Intern: Bethany DeGray” on the memo line. This will ensure that the monies that received will be put into my account.
Via Electronic Fund Transfer (EFT): Go to the SP Website (http://www.servantpartners.org/) and click on “Donate.” Instructions for setting up an EFT is on that page.
Via PayPal: Similar to EFT, but this is for a one time credit/debit card transfer only. Go to http://www.servantpartners.org/ and click on “Donate.” Just follow the instructions. You will be able to designate who the money is going to go to on the SECOND page.

My total fundraising goal is $4,000, which will cover travel costs to the Philippines and costs for educational materials and retreats during the two years of the internship. Though I am of course eager to see how God is going to meet this financial need, my primary concern continues to be my prayer needs. At this point I think my needs fall in three umbrella areas, work, ministry and driving. I am creating ‘sub’ prayer list specifically for my driving needs, so that I can just drop a line on the topic as the need arises. If you would like to be on that list, please email me and I will add you.
Thank you all so much for bearing with a long letter. I hope your summers are starting well and you are also seeing God’s hand at work in your lives. I love and miss you all.
In His Hands-
Bethany Joy DeGray

p.s. The pictures are from top to bottom: 1) My ‘baby’ room at work, 2) My roommates Beth, Stephanie, Erin and Preethi, 3) My new car, and 4) The view out my front door.

May 2008 Prayer Letter

May 10, 2008
Dear Family and Friends:

I hope this letter finds you all doing well. I am writing to share with you a few stories of the adventures that God has before me.
The last year of my life has been very full with clinical rotations, graduation from physical therapy school, and post-graduate work in a neonatal ICU. I’ve had many opportunities to see God’s provision in housing, learning opportunities, and friendships. This has also been a time of seeking God’s path for my future. After seven years of education, I find myself facing ‘real life’, and many important choices about how I will live that life. I believe it is crucial to start my adult life with a focus on the things that matter most to God, such as justice, righteousness, and a lifestyle of worship.


Through a series of ‘divine coincidences’ God has opened doors for me to pursue this vision in Pasadena California. I have been accepted to an internship with an organization called Servant Partners based in LA. This internship is a two year program which focuses on community, discipleship and ‘incarnational’ ministry living in urban areas.

The internship is a ‘tentmaking’ ministry, so interns are expected to work full time, which will allow me to continue to develop my career as a pediatric physical therapist. Since my primary ‘calling’ in life has long been to care for children with special needs, continuing this career is very important to me. I have found a job at a pediatric clinic in Pasadena, where I will be starting in just two weeks. I will work part-time through the summer and then take a month off for the internship orientation in September. One of the great perks of the internship is orientation which includes a three week trip to the Philippines. I am delighted with the opportunity to return to this beautiful country where I spent such a wonderful summer in college.

I would love to share what I am going to be actually DOING in California, but is still an unfolding picture. The ministries in which Servant Partners participates vary from year to year. I do know that I will be living with several other interns in a neighborhood, and working with local churches and non-profit organizations to help meet the needs of that community. I am also looking forward to intensive times of Bible study, prayer and learning about addressing poverty and injustice on a global level.

So this story will continue to develop over the next several years, and I would like to continue to share my adventures with you. There are several ways you can participate in this journey with me.
- Prayer support: I will need daily and weekly prayer support for work, ministry, and for my driving in Los Angeles traffic.
- Financial support: Although my living expenses will come from my job, I need to raise four thousand additional dollars this summer for travel and administrative costs related to the internship.

If you are interested in receiving more information about support options, or in being added to my prayer letter list please email me at bjdegray@gmail.com. For more information on Servant partners, visit their website at http://www.servantpartners.org/.

Thank you so much for the love and support you all have given me for so long. I am confident that God will continue to bless me through you over these next several years.

Blessings-



Bethany Joy DeGray